Lunchtime in Leeds

I got away from the photo-lab today and went for a Photo Production Consultants workshop in the big Leeds store.

The meeting didn't start till 10am so I managed a bit of a lie in. I set off at 9, but no sooner had I got onto the M62, I came to a standstill. The amount of traffic on that stretch of road is terrible first thing in the morning. At an average speed of 20/25mph, it took me 45mins to go the 20 miles to Leeds. I just made the meeting with seconds to spare.

Then meeting itself was pretty lively, and I got a lot of info out of it, which we don't normally have access to. I also met a lot off old friends that I've worked with over the years but never seem to see nowadays. But the bonus of the day was lunch. Leeds has a very good canteen and it didn't disappoint today. I had shepherds pie with fresh veg and gravy with apricot crumble and cussie for dessert. Stick to your ribs fare.

And it was free!

Thanks for the link!

Thank you to Diary of a Stay at Home Mum for linking to me.

Shrink

The big thing at work at the moment is the drive to cut shrink.

Shrink is the word the company use to describe stock loss. There are three areas where this occurs- Bad accounting procedures, shoplifting and staff theft.

We had a little meeting with the store manager today and he went through it all. I can't remember the figure that the company is losing every year to shrink but it is mega millions of pounds. Our own store is losing £6000 a week. That's a brand new car for every member of staff over the year.

The thing that is significant about this, is the breakdown of where it's coming from. A third of it comes from bad practice eg incorrect till procedures, stockhandling, etc. Another third goes to shoplifters,(cut their hands off I would.) which leaves a third of the staff are fiddling. That's £2000 a week going out of the staff door. The company have now been putting covert cameras in staff only areas, which worries me a bit. I hope they haven't seen me scratching my backside!

It's Christmas

Yes, that time of the year has come around again- Christmas!!!

Now you may think I've gone barking mad but remember, I work in a store and we like to get our Christmas off to an early start. Seasonal stock has been arriving by the truckload, so much so that the operations staff have run out off space in the stockroom and have started dropping it in the store canteen. Which has pissed us off considerably. We are down to two tables and there is rumour of another five pallets coming in tomorrow. I'll be eating my butties in the gents next, that's if I can get round the rollcage of cuddly toys blocking the entrance. All the "Store enhancements" ( i.e. xmas decorations ) arrived today, but you'll be relieved to know that they're not going up until October. A bit late this year.

Any day now, we'll be hearing carols over the store intercom, the merry tinkling of tills, the late night openings, wondering if this year, management will try yet again, to make us work boxing day. Ahh yes, a wonderful time of year.

I wonder if they'll let me have a 3 month holiday!

Pear Day

The tribe went to Cannon Hall nr Barnsley today for the annual Pear Day.

In the walled garden they have over 30 varieties of pear trees, and once a year the public are invited in for a tasting session and you can also buy the pears. We walked round the gardens looking at the pears and spotted a sign that said you were allowed to eat the windfalls but not to pick the pears off the trees. There were loads on the ground, so I was well stuffed by the time we got around to were the tasting table was. I politely declined the offer of a taster, but I could have sworn the woman had a knowing look on her face. We bought some anyway.

Doesn't fruit taste a lot better, fresh off the tree. All the pears we tasted didn't taste anything like their supermarket counterparts.

There was also a craft and plant fair as well. My wife can't go past a plant stall without buying anything, so now we've got to find somewhere to put a clematis and a couple of other plants in an already overfilled garden. Oh well, it keeps her happy I suppose.

Anything for a quiet life, just so long as she gets the spade out and not me!

A picture of Cannon Hall pond taken with my camera phone 

Anthony Davidson in the new blue and yellow livery of the BAR F1 team to mark the first Chinese Grand Prix. 

The Tramp

We have a guy that works with us, who looks like a tramp.

He's a smashing lad, and I can't fault his work but his appearance lets him down. He sports a beard and tash, his hair is long and unruly, and his shirt is not so clean and suffers from an iron deficiency.

He was late for work this morning and someone said that the cops have probably just kicked him off his park bench. I said that he was searching through his washbasket for his cleanest shirt. I hate to think what his underwear looks like. He has a stud in his tongue, which explains why you can't understand what he's saying sometimes.

Oh, did I mention he was a student.

Union Rep-Part II

My colleagues were queuing up to second me on the nomination form last week, which I duly sent off to the Union thinking it will take them weeks before I hear anything from them. So you can imagine my surprise when I got a phone call from a union official this morning.

Apparently, he's written to my boss to tell him I will be the new union rep for our store and that I should be recognized as such.Also, he's going to come over in a couple of weeks to go through my duties and responsibilities.

Sounds a bit official to me. He's bringing over my shop stewards welcome pack. I wonder if it will include a whistle and a flat cap. Oh, and I've definitely got to have a union reps armband so everyone knows who I am.

My boss is off for a couple of days, so he'll get a shock when he finds out. I'm not sure if he'll like a union presence in his store, but we haven't had strong union representation for a while now so hopefully that will change.

I'll probably get all the crap jobs from now on!

ABBA

I've just watched the documentary on the box about ABBA mainly because I've always been a fan of theirs.( There you go I've admitted it now. Sad aren't I.)

It brought back memories of where I was the night they won the Eurovision song contest. I was in Germany at the time, in the RAF and the lads and myself had gone down to Cochem on the River Mosel for the weekend. My mate had driven us there in his clapped out VW Kombi. I remember it had broken down and we had to push it, but the thing still wouldn't start. We got to the top of a hill and started to freewheel down the other side so we all jumped on the side and clung on for grim death. The Kombi rolled down the hill and straight into the carpark of a country hotel. Goodness knows what this poor old Deutsche thought about 8 brits in his place that night, but he kept smiling when the till kept on ringing.

The ABBA connection?- there was a television in the bar, and of course we where cheering for GB, but Sweden won. At the time we all said they would be one hit wonders, but when I saw them live in Dortmund in 1979, I changed my mind!

Knowing me , Knowing you, Ha, haa.!

Corporal Freddy Fox

Seeing as how I got veritable sackload of prospective names for my new forces blog, I decided to go with one I chose, "Corporal Freddy Fox." I am still working on the html of the site, but I have published the first post, so if you want to have a look, click on the link.

I am trying to work it like a blog, only happening 30 yrs ago. If anyone has any suggestions or comments let me know. I hope you enjoy reading it because I'm going to enjoy writing it, and remember, anything I do write is true, it actually happened.

Keep on Blogging!

The Goldfish

After my mega-blogmoan yesterday I didn't have too bad a day at work today. One or two grumps but nothing I couldn't handle. It was when I got home the pain started. No sooner had I tucked into my chile and rice that the wife said, " The goldfish tank needs cleaning, you can hardly see Ben and Goldie."

As I mention in my profile, I have 4 goldfish, 2 inside, 2 out in the pond. The two inside are called Goldie and Ben.(Don't ask)

I groaned, "I'll do it tomorrow." (Standard bloke answer to practically everything.)

The wife wasn't having any of my delaying tactics, she knows me too well.

"Poor fish, look Bens gasping for air." (woman's logic.)

"Poor fish, they need cleaning Daddy." this from my little girl.

So that's why half an hour later my arms were swilling about in fish poo infested water.
At least you can see the fish now.

My little girl said, "They must be poor fish Daddy, 'cos they're not rich fish."

She cracks me up does my girl.

Thank you for linking

A big thank you to "Eccentric Bohemian Hermits" for linking to me.

Not Friday again

To most people Friday is a good day. They have the whole weekend stretching before them. They finish work, sometimes early, get home, changed and out for the night. Or they set off somewhere nice for the weekend, visiting friends or relations, or just a short break away.

Not me!

It's get home, quick bite to eat then straight out on my Provvi round for 3 hours, back home, do the books, then an hour on the computer if I'm lucky. Then it's bed with the alarm set for 6 am so I can go and do a full day in a shop, developing and printing photos of people who get whole weekends off, who always seem to be in a grumpy mood. They want to try working every Saturday like me.

It's the same at Christmas. I'll be lucky if I get Christmas Day and Boxing day off, whilst the rest of the country will probably have a week off. Us poor shop workers are hard done by.

I know I choose to work in a shop that seems to want to be open 24/7 but you can only do so much hours in a week.

So when you go shopping on a Saturday, spare a thought for the shopworkers.

Gosh, it's a hard life int'it.

Another Blog

I was at work today thinking about what I was going to blog about tonight, when I had a brilliant idea. Now as I only have only three brain cells working at any one time, this idea took me by surprise and I had to go and lie down in a darkened room to recover.

The long and the short of the idea, was to start a second weblog, only this time it would recount my experiences of being in the RAF during the seventies. I thought perhaps I could start it with the background of my decision to join, then follow it through recruit and trade training and on to becoming operational. Believe me I had a great time in the forces, and have some very funny tales to recount, also some sad ones, so I am offering you, the blogging community a chance to come up with a name for this blog.

Don't let me down!

New phone-part two

Well I said I'd upgrade my mobile phone, and boy , did I do it in style!

After much research on the web, I went into the phone shop knowing pretty much what I wanted, but, very much like Arkwrights shop, I came out with more than I bargained for. (and budgeted for.)

The salesgirl was very good at her job, very good looking too, and before I knew it, had signed me up to a monthly contract just a little more than I really wanted to pay, but the plus side is that I've got a very good camera phone, that is Bluetooth enabled, and I can reduce the payments after 6 months and keep the phone.

Who knows, once I start taking the pictures I might start getting some photos on my blog when I've worked out how to switch the damn thing on!!

That time of the year

Well I've finally done it!

After much deliberation and putting it off, I've filled my tax return form in. I thought I'd better, after seeing the adverts on the telly. All the doom and gloom that will be visited on oneself, if you don't complete it and send the thing in by 30th September.

It took me ages to find the damn thing, seeing as how they send it to me in April. I always put it somewhere safe, so as I can find it later, but I never can. Then there's about quadzillion boxes to fill in, but hardly any of them apply to me. Talk about confusing. I'm sure the form could be made simpler for people who have straight-forward tax affairs. I mean, do I look like a person who has offshore taxable bonds. And will I ever claim relief on a qualifying distribution on the redemption of bonus shares or securities.

I don't think so.

The Clock Tower

As part of this areas Heritage open days, our local clock tower flung their door open to the public today.

At 83ft high it is an impressive landmark in the village of Lindley. Built in 1902, you can hear the bells for miles around.

I took the wife and two kids to have a look round this afternoon. They were only allowing six at a time up on the belfry and there was already a party of people up there so we had to wait at the bottom. Ten minutes later we were still waiting.

"They're taking their time." said the wife.

"Don't worry," I replied. "They'll be down soon."

"How do you know?"

"It's nearly quarter to."

Sure enough, all of a sudden- DING-DONG-DING-DONG---DING-DONG-DING-DONG.

The first person was down, with the last dong ringing in their ears, so we climbed the 69 steps of a very narrow staircase to the top of the tower and was rewarded with some nice views.

"It's nearly 2 o'clock," said I. "Let's get down before we get an earfull!"

Fat Freddy.Part II

I don't know where I've gone wrong.

I've starved myself for a week and a half and have I lost any weight? Have I chuff. Well when I say starved myself, I have eaten something, but I'm making the excuse that I have'nt got into the swing of things yet.

I let myself down badly today by having fish & chips in the canteen followed by a nice peice of chocolate fudge cake.

"Would you like some cream on that cake." said the canteen lady.

"No, it's fattening." I replied.

She just laughed.

Union Rep

I've decided to be the Union Rep in the shop where I work.

We were discussing the fact that the air conditioning never works, the management implement changes without consultation, how they expect you to work all hours and get no thanks for it etc, you know a real good gripe. I expect every workforce does the same. This is when somebody mentioned that what we needed was a Union Rep.

Well I thought, Karen used to do that job I'll go and see her.

"Oh no, I packed it in a year ago, and we've had nobody prepared to take it on since." said Karen.

I must have had a dizzy spell, or a moment of insanity because I distinctly heard my voice say, "I'll take it on."

So that's it, my fate is sealed, the nomination papers are on their way. I only need two people to second me, but unfortunatley, the sods are queueing up to back me. I've got 6 names so far and I have'nt even put the form on the notice board.

They must recognize a sucker when they see one!

New phone

I've bought a new mobile for the wife.

I know, you're probably thinking old Fred has gone soft and he's not as tight as people think. Well you'd be wrong.

It all started the other day when she said that it would be handy to have a mobile phone for emergencies and suchlike.

"But you've already got one." said I.

"Do you mean that brick you palmed off on me when you upgraded yours," she replied. "I let the kids play with that, no, I want a nice small one that will fit in my pocket."

Point taken. The phone I'd given her was one of the early ones and did look like a brick, weighed about the same as well. Never mind, I'll have to grin and bear it and unlock the wallet. Breaks my heart, me being a Yorkshireman.

I'd spotted some in the shop I work in and one model, which would suit, retailed at £39.99. With staff discount, I could get it for £35. Well, in my lunch hour I had to go to the post office and on the way I popped into "Phones 4 U", just for a price comparison, and they were selling the same model for £35. The lurking sales assistant approached me and asked if she could help. I said I was interested in this phone but could get it for the same price in the shop I worked.

"I'll knock you a fiver off." she said.

"Done." I replied.

Now all I've got to do is learn how to work it so I can show the wife what to do.

There is one thing though, I've suddenly realized how old my phone is. This new phone has more features than mine and can even connect to the internet and it cost half the price mine was all those years ago.

I think an upgrade is on the cards.

Anybody want to buy a 6 year old phone?

A wonderful day

It's been a most remarkable day. One of those days that you wish,could go on for ever.

I managed to eat a peaceful breakfast. I then had to do some shopping in town and found a parking place straight away. There were no queues in the shops. The deli where I buy my cooked meat hadn't sold out of my favourite. Not as much traffic on the roads as normal.

This is fantastic I thought.

After a nice lunch, I managed to read the local newspaper without any interruptions. The wife made me a cup of coffee and it didn't get spilled. All was peace and quiet in the household, that is until 3.30pm, then all hell let loose.

That's the time the kids got home from their first day back at school.

Christening Day

Today was the day that baby Isobelle Mai was christened.

Isobelle is my grand neice and a bonny little thing she is. She looked ever so cute in her christening gown. Plenty of lace and bows. And she was as good as gold during the baptism ceremony. Not a wail or a dribble. When the lady vicar took her on a tour of the church, she was all smiles and gurgles. The regular congregation adored her.

The ceremony was held this morning at the parents local methodist church, and the place was packed to the rafters. The vicar had to ask that we share the hymn books,because as they were not used to such large numbers attending, there were not enough to go round. I think by the vicars demenour, that she was pleased as punch to have such a large audience.

The christening party afterwards was held in the local British Legion club, were the drinks were free flowing. (Guess who was driving!)

At least I managed to wet the baby's head, even if it was with cola. And then there was the question of the buffet to contend with, including my sisters trifle for dessert.

Yummy.

Blackpool illuminations

I see the illuminations at Blackpool are being switched on tonight. Good luck to them, but it's not a place I shall be visiting.

Now I'm sure there are people out there who absolutely adore Blackpool, would like to visit it on each and every occasion they can, but I'm not one of them.

You're probably wondering what Freds got against Blackpool? Well I'll tell you.

1. There's always a tailback of traffic waiting to get in.(Goodness knows why.)
2. It costs 15% more for petrol in Blackpool than anywhere else in the country.
3.The public toilets are always shut and the ones that are open are shite.
4.The fish and chips are ,overpriced and inedible.
5.The streets at the weekend are populated by drunken coach parties.
6. The Tower is overpriced for what you get. (Nothing.)
7.The Golden mile is full of litter.
8. The pleasure beach is a rip-off along with the rest of Blackpool.
and finally.....

who wants to look at a bunch of coloured light bulbs anyway?

Late shift

I was on the late shift at work today. I don't mind doing the late shift because a lot of work can be done when there aren't any interruptions.

As I've said before in a previous post, I work in a very busy photo-lab, and at this time of year, we are extra busy. Fair get a sweat up I do! We seem to get more film in to be processed than the lab is capable of producing during normal shop hours, hence the need to work after the shop is closed.

It's nice and quiet when everybody buggers off for the day. No phone ringing. No staff asking you when a late film will be ready. No kids screaming. No customers screaming because their films late. No management getting on your back. No tannoy advertising a particular shampoo that's on 3 for 2 every two minutes. Ahhh yes, it's nice and peaceful in a big store, late at night, when it's empty and getting dark. Just you, on your own.

Spooky too!

Fat Freddy

Good grief I'm getting HUGE!

Up until my hernia operation in June, I'd lost a total of 4 stone.I started out 8 months earlier at 19 stone, so I thought I'd done rather well getting the weight off. With 4 weeks off for post op recovery, then another 3 weeks holiday, I was a bit apprehensive when I weighed myself at work today.

I looked at the scales display, and was horrified, I'd put 12 lbs on. Right I thought, no more choc for me, Crisps will not pass my lips. Pork pies are out! From now on it's salads and fruit. I'll pull myself round, just you watch.

Now then, where did I put that bag of Maltesers?