Christmas shopping

The whole family went to the supermarket tonight in order to get the non-perishable essentials for Christmas, like booze, choccy biscuits, booze, frozen gateux, booze, mixed nuts, oh, did I mention some wine.

We had a budget of £100, so I took my calculator along with us to add it up as I went along. The kids wanted to take theirs as well. We must have looked a right sight, walking around with 3 calculators. The lad had a right pad on because I kept forgetting to tell him the prices. When we got to the checkout, I'd arrived at the figure of £104.98, the lad had £97.23 and the little girl had £4265.47. Well, she is only 5 years old! We were all wrong anyway, because the bill came to £108.72.

The kids wanted to look at this house we'd spotted the other day, which was well lit up with decorations, but Dad forgot and drove home the opposite way. They were grumbling like mad all the way home but were completely gobsmacked when they saw Santa on his sleigh in our street. The sleigh was being pulled by a Land Rover and Santa was sat at the back dishing out sweets for the kids. It was organized by the local branch of the Lions club and their members were knocking on doors for donations to charity.

" There you are," I said. " If we'd gone to look at those lights you'd have missed Santa."

It also woudl'nt have cost me a donation in the charity box.

Bah Humbug!